I’ve recently registered on Tinder – my first online dating experience – and it’s been quite an experience. One will find all types of guys on Tinder and weeding through the not-for-me-guys has been both entertaining and exhausting.
I’m currently talking to (humouring) All-About-That-Drink. He starts the conversation with “Hello”. I respond with “Hello.” He proceeds with the ever-so-exciting “How are you?” to which I honestly respond, “Not very creative, All-About-That-Drink. I’ll let you try again.” He was confused, and may have thought I was a little bit crazy (ha – I guess it goes both ways). Why I let this go on, I don’t know, but All-About-That-Drink has continued to entertain me to some degree ever since. He continuously says that he likes to feel alive, is adventurous, and, of course, has mentioned drinking numerous times. When I ask him what he does to feel alive, he answers with “dance and have fun with friends”. Meh – that sounds like a typical evening out for most of our age group. When “feel alive” means jumping out of airplanes, walking along the edge of cliffs, and pretty much anything that scare the living shit out of me, “dance and have fun with friends” just doesn’t fit the ball. I suppose people’s definitions of “feel alive” are bound to vary; I just never thought they’d be such drastic differences. No thanks, All-About-That-Drink.
Then there’s Boring-And-I-Know-It who has mentioned, in two unrelated messages, that he is uncreative, boring, and predictable. I suppose that’ll attract some women… not this one. I was intrigued by his first response to my sassiness. He says, “Hi”. I say, “Creative start. Hi” (so I guess my responses aren’t all that creative, either, but they don’t know that!). I appreciate that he can come up with some response, that he is “an engineer, zero creativity here”. Cool. I laughed. Later on, I tell him that 6-year-ago rockstar him sounds more interesting than current-day-him and he proceeds to tell me that “today me is boring and unpredictable” and that “things change”. Huh. The joke is getting old, but I’ll entertain it once more by asking if he does do anything not boring and unpredictable these days. His response? “The easiest is just get my old bass and start jamming”. “One might argue that, for a musician, that’s actually quite predictable.” I mean, c’mon people. Is this your idea of unpredictable?!?! Go jump off a cliff or something. Maybe next lifetime, Boring-And-I-Know-It.
I’m a little upset that Too-Sexy-For-My-Shirt hasn’t responded to my inquiry about what would make him “all the sex I’ll ever need”. I was looking forward to a good ball-buster there. It hurts to be on the other end, especially when we’re talking about the sex-for-life lottery. Damn.
Sort-Of-Interesting started a little more creatively: “They say hi isn’t memorable on here – how does ciao strike you?” Hey, someone who’s ditched the simple “hi” and gone through all the effort to translate it to another language! Well done, Sort-Of-Interesting! (Just in case it’s not as obvious as I think it is, that’s my good ol’ Canadian sarcasm coming out.) Ciao really is “slightly more memorable but essentially the same thing.” To be fair, he has been thinking a little out-of-the-box, asking what I miss that I can’t have in Kuwait, as opposed to asking me how long I’ve been here or what I do for a living. I’ve always got to step it up, though, and quite enjoyed my “What do you love most about Kuwait?” I’ve found this to be a good test of these guys’ mindsets and ways of thinking since it’s a difficult question to answer, for most. When you can say, about Kuwait, that you like the “relaxed nature of the place”, that’s a pleasing response! Well done, Sort-Of-Interesting (seriously this time)! This one is a possibility, but wait, there’s a catch!
Kuwait is a pretty small community, especially when you take out all the Arabs and guys like Too-Sexy-For-My-Shirt. I am close/close-ish friends with about 5 girls (that I know of) who are also on Tinder. It occurs to me one day that they are probably talking to some of the same guys I’m talking to. How weird would that be if we went on a date with the same guy? So, of course it was no surprise when my neighbour said that she’d been talking to this Sort-Of-Interesting guy for about a month and she really likes him. Well, that’s awkward. Given her addiction to boys (seriously, I think she needs to be single for a while), she probably needs him more, but the fact that that’s even a consideration is weird. Just weird.
As much as I enjoy wasting my hours with not-for-me-guys and sharing Tinder men with my friends, I may consider waiting until I’m in a bigger fish pool. Or have a weekly share-out of “who’s talking to who”. Either way, it’s been an interesting ride so far.
Have you tried Tinder or another type of online dating? What has your experience been like?